one light in the darkness and i’m
over my head
it’s as good a time as any to change everything
into the deep end, into
the unknown
for it’s all you know.
i break my fingers in the door
clumsy as i try to close
and through the bruising and the swelling
they fit yours like they did before.
it hasn’t been too long,
the smell of death still seems to hang on foggy nights.
but i dance with you here where others gave their lives
toes in the sand where blood spilled and you in my arms
in our wondrous splendor.
i can’t believe the love i’ve found.
i get lost in the memory of what i’d been through here but smile
because she is here and she is alive and she is
is.
commander thompson had his intestines ripped out by shrapnel
and colonel baker didn’t make it ten yards before he too
was eviscerated
here where we lay
here on the beaches.
blacklight, freeway,
six am and the motor’s idling out.
without, again.
sixty one things to do before you’re dead
isn’t it strange she looked at me and said
there’s got to be a reason for all of this pain.
and i’m now i’m finding comfort in a deeper hole
than any i’ve ever dug before
and i’m waiting for something to keep me floating
waiting for something to come and save
isn’t it strange, isn’t it something
isn’t it beautiful, she says… then we go and leave it all
red light, morning
sun is rising over desert landscape
and my mouth’s still dry.
sixty one things to do before you’re dead
isn’t it just swell she looked at me and said
i won’t get these done if i just roll over and die
and now i’m finding solace in other arms
helplessly like i’ve never known at all
just what it meant to be alive.
and i’m waiting for something to keep me floating
waiting for something to come and save
isn’t it strange, isn’t it something
isn’t it beautiful, she says… then we go and leave it all
never, i said,
i’m almost out of time.
as strands of gossamer surround me,
there’s numbness beginning to set in.
captive in these spiderwebs,
i lose myself within.
there’s numbness beginning to set in
to my heart and my lungs,
i lose myself within
the constriction and the pain.
to my heart and my lungs,
you were like breathing in fiberglass dust,
the constriction and the pain
and the consumption of my flesh…
you were like breathing in fiberglass dust,
you were the parasite that enslaved me.
and the consumption of my flesh
to remind me that i am no longer my own.
you were the parasite that enslaved me,
your guile led you to betray me
to remind me that i am no longer my own
and all of the coldness that you have shown
your guile led you to betray me
and how i wish, how i long for escape
from all of the coldness that you have shown
and for every breath you’ve deprived me of
and how i wish, how i reach for escape
when all the life has been sucked clean out of me
and for every breath you’ve deprived me of
i hope you choke it down and suffocate
when all the life has been sucked clean out of me,
captive in these spiderwebs
i hope you choke it down and suffocate
as strands of gossamer surround me.
watch the explosions in the sky and the debris fall around their feet. catalyzed.
so much under lock and key blown to bits in one fragmented instant
break apart and burst at the seams and come crumbling down
the black hole at the center of the sky
is me tonight and i am reaching out
to you my dear i hold on tight for i
must pull you in and know you have your doubt
every star will shine and flicker for
the one that i know i will never hold
in these my fractal fingertips so sore
my pull is gravitational but cold
at my event horizon no escape
just nothingness and pressure pushing you
and though you beg and plead you lose your shape
transfixed tongue-tied held tight and turning blue…
but freedom comes like a sunrise today
and in the morning you just run away
is one big commercial joke.
and guess who’s not laughing now?
valentine’s, demonized.
sadistic and twisted.
swallowing up hearts
in stormy seas of red.
the sun gets closer every day and the heat is getting to me.
set ablaze, it’s the end of the days, get used to it.
i hold the reins of a gale
and i am coming to blow you away.
self-immolation is not a good party trick.
the smell of burning flesh and the sounds of bloodcurdling screaming
never seems to win many new friends.
